Friday, January 23, 2009

Wally Winkle

Wally with his Scooter "Lightning"

Willard 'Wally' Winkle is a resident of the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Infirmed on Willow Lane here in Cloverdale. His apartment is in the Green Wing of the Home. The Green Wing is reserved for those closest to Jesus. They are the residents between the ages of 85 and death. Green signifies “Good to Go” on your eternal journey. The home’s Red Wing is for seniors between the ages of 50 and 65. The Yellow Wing is reserved for old age pensioners between the ages of 66 to 84.

Wally gets up every morning, dresses himself, and joins the rest of the age impaired residents in the dining hall for morning gruel and Piggly Wiggly’s day old biscuits.
“They do everything they can to help move you to your reward,” Wally said proudly to the visiting Red Cross representative assigned to investigate abuses of the Geneva Convention. The Red Cross received a complaint from a Arnold Bicknell, a long time Green Wing resident and trouble maker. Arnold’s memory lost its foundation long ago. He confuses the Rest Home with the Concentration Camp he spent years in during the war. Arnold told the Red Cross that this camp was slightly better than the one in Poland so he didn’t want the representative to make to much of a fuss.

After breakfast Wally waddles his way outside to the covered parking lot where he keeps his electric scooter 'Lightning'. He spends time giving it a spit polish before starting the motor and backing it out into the driveway. With a honk of his embarrassingly feeble horn Wally is down the street to the Outta Time Mini Mart. He enjoys slowing the Speedy Drive Through Lane to purchase his traditional Red Bull and Winstons. The clerk has them ready by the window to move him along. Wally gets a chuckle by insisting the clerk ID him for his cigarettes every morning.

Once wired up on caffein Wally turns left on Evergreen Way and drives one mile to Cloverdale’s Kinder Kare. The kiddies go wild when Wally arrives. Their dirty little hands and faces smudge the windows with finger paint, cookie smears, and nose discharge. Wally waves and moves to one end of the parking lot. He parks the scooter, turns the seat toward the windows and takes out a cigarette. He lights up and waves to the kids. A few minutes later the Kinder Kare door flies open and out pour several of the children for their “Exploring nature with imagination and fun time" (recess). They race to be the first in line to challenge old Wally in a race to the death. The first one in line pulls along side Wally. They stare at each other. Wally growls, flips his unfinished cigarette into the bushes and waits for the go.

Wally stays at the Kinder Kare unit all the children have a chance to race. Wally is the highlight of their day. Cloverdale is proud of our very own Wally Winkle.

1 comment:

  1. It bewilders me that the older "adults" get the more childlike they become. Ironically they would never have tolerated trantrums from from their own children as toddlers...but carry on stubborn insolent snitfits themselves @ 80+. Mysteries of the universe never cease to amaze me...I have officially become a "betweener"..caring for grandchildren and parents too..both with similar needs and eccentricities.
    At least Wally still has his wits about him so as to enable him to "drive"