Friday, August 6, 2010

Huckle Keesh is Off to the Work Camp. May the Lord Be With Him.

Huckle Keesh of 354 Clover Drive, Cloverdale, sits and warms himself in the glow of his 27 inch LCD monitor. The answer to your obvious question is “Yes”, Huckle has every video game system created on planet Earth (and some I can’t identify. He claims they were found in the wreckage of a crashed alien space craft. Of course, he made the statement in his 36th hour without sleep. He was playing Survivor Halo with his online friends. I say online because it is yet to be proven he has friends that can be seen in the real world of flesh and bone), and nearly every video game to go with them.

“I’m a collector of the Gaming Arts,” he explains with pride to anyone who enters his bedroom. No one doubts his enthusiasm for his vocation. What everyone is concerned about is his disconnect with the world. He has become a solitary monk in the Digital Faith of flickering lights, vibrating controllers and sounds not produced by human vocal chords.

“What do we do with him?” his mother asked the social worker dispatched from the Comprehensive School’s Guidance Office. “We’ve hardly seen him since summer vacation started. We know he’s alive because we leave food for him outside the door in the morning and its gone when his father and I come home from work in the evening.”

The Social Worker made a phone call and then suggested the Keesh’s join her for a cup of coffee at the Woolworth’s Lunch Counter. Before leaving the house, the lady took a paper from her satchel and asked both parents to sign on the ‘Permission‘ line.
“What are we signing?” both parents asked.
“You’re giving us permission to begin treatment for your son. It could get ugly so be sure you can handle his crying, screaming, cursing and possible self mutilation,” she replied with a slight smile showing Mr. and Mrs. Keesh that she truly enjoyed her job.

They signed and went for coffee.

Huckle was gone when they returned.

“He’s been taken to a better place,” the woman in the wool skirt and red blouse said as she encouraged them to sit on their sofa in the parlor. “Huckle will spend the rest of the summer at the Confederacy Work Camp. Its a place where he can work off a few pounds and get to know other children like himself - children lost in their own minds and easily manipulated by digital images. The children are currently expanding Highway 1 from two lanes to four. If you wish you can see your son every day working on the road. I suggest you give him a bit of time to adjust. He won’t be too happy you called the school about his problem. But all is well. You can rest assured he will come home several pounds lighter and with a nice golden tan.”

And with that said, she took her bag and walked toward the door. She let herself out. Once out of ear's reach she placed a call to inform her supervisor the quota has been met. The school will receive it portion of the Shire's Highway Budget. It will help fund the art's programs.

“I always wondered who those kids were working on the roads every summer,” Mrs. Keesh said as she stood and started for the kitchen. “Fancy a cup of tea?”

“Tea, let’s go out and celebrate!” Mr. Keesh shouted as he reached for the car keys resting on the coffee table.

Huckle's two camp roommates collected two days earlier.
Neither are happy about the sun and fresh air

Abigail Tiller, addicted to Barbie Online. She is now at the Camp working as a flagman
on Highway 1.Motorists, she is small so drive with caution.

Simon Bart, an addict to WarCraft.
He's been at camp since May 31st and has lost 12 pounds
(much if it due to multiple food poisonings.
The problem in the camp kitchen is corrected. For now.)

Video Game Addicts
(Left) Four teens brought in at the end of June for a Halo Addiction.
(Right) Last year's campers at the end of the summer season standing in front of the camp dorms.

Saving our Children from Themselves
Support the Children's Work Camp

A Clovershire Government Program

Sponsored by the Education Ministry and the Highway Department
Working Together We Can Make A Difference.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Salvation Army Thrift Store's Back to School Extravaganza

General Junkell and his lovely wife Shirley are the managers of the Salvation Army Thrift Store on the High Street in Coverdale. They urge you to spend your back to school dollars at the Thrift Store, where your hard earned money buys more for less.

The Confederacy Times, Cloverdale's weekly newspaper, agreed to run the store's adds for free in the paper in return for the Salvation Army's promise not to hold a band concert on their office's doorstep every Monday morning at 9:00 A.M.
"We are so grateful for the Times generosity," General Junkell was quoted as saying in the newspaper.
"God Bless them," his lovely wife Shirley chimed in with a well rehearsed smile and hand out seeking a donation from the reporter.

The adds were proof read and approved by the General and his lovely wife yesterday at a special tea held at the Store. The adds will be run every week until the middle of September.

The add campaign starts with a new range of Chubbettes used clothing for the 2010-11 school year consigned to the Thrift Store from Donaldson's Department Store's storage shed.

"What kind of parent would buy their kids Chubbettes clothes," said Morris Carp, manager of Donaldson's Department Store's Girls Clothing Department. "These clothes didn't sell in 1964 and by God they're not going to sell today. So, we gave them to the Salvationists. They preach miracles happen all around us, well let's see them prove it. I want to see them shift this lot of clothes!"

The Thrift Store's Boys Department's add features a full range of Plaid Toughskins, once popular in the early 1970's, the Thrift Store is hoping for a plaid revival in the 21st Century.

In addition to the Plaid Toughskins, Cloverdale's thrifty moms may want to spend a little bit more and outfit their sons in a new / old range of Tom Sawyer clothes. This add will run in next Sunday's paper with a note encouraging Cloverdale's value conscious families to purchase their Tom Sawyer clothes quickly while the supply lasts. The Tom Sawyer brand went out of business in 1981 so once sold out there will no others.

And finally, for the family with a healthy budget for school clothing, the Thrift Store offers a full range of Ladybird Clothing. These upmarket designs from the early 1960's are sure to please your little one's grandparents - reminding them of the days "when clothes were modest, descent and Christian!".

Friends, remember a dollar spent at the Thrift Store is a dollar that helps the homeless and destitute. Granted, there are none in Cloverdale at the moment, but when there are the Salvation Army will be ready to offer assistance and spiritual guidance.