Friday, September 10, 2010

The Simpits Lost Their Cat

Mr. Tiddles escaped once again from the Simpits back garden at 34 Clove Lane, Cloverdale. This is the second time the man from the Electrical Board failed to lock the gate leading to the Simpits back garden during a monthly reading of the Simpit's power meter.

A scene from the Clovershire Electrical Board's movie "Your Friend the Meter Man" Shown at all the Shire's schools to teach our children not be afraid of the Meter Man when he knocks on their door and asks to come in.

The Electrical Board issued a statement regretting the accident. In the memo the Board said:
Our meter readers do all they can to enter and exit dwellings without causing notice or alarm. In the Simpits case, Mr. Tiddles was in the back garden at the time of the reading, sunning himself out of sight from the electrical meter. The Reader sneezed while recording the power usage thus waking Mr. Tiddles. The sudden appearance of a fully grown male lion running toward you at full speed looking at you like you were his lunch caused the Reader to exit the premises quickly, thus failing to lock the gate behind him.
"Mr. Tiddles wouldn't hurt a fly," Frank Simpits said during an interview with Cloverdale Weekend Television.

Please contact Cloverdale's Police Department should you spot Mr. Tiddles rummaging through your garbage. Also it might be best to stay indoors until the cat is captured.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Cloverdale Weekend Television. Tonight on Classics. Vivaldi: Dopo un'orrida procella (from "Griselda")

Tonight on Cloverdale Weekend Television's A Night of Classics, Soprano Simone Kermes at the Shwetzinger Festspiele 2010 with the Venice Baroque Orchestra. Tune in right after the local news and this evening's Books and You with Cloverdale Village Librarian Doloris Shilp. Tonight Doloris makes her school year 2010-11 predictions on which books will be checked out the most during the nine months of the school year. Miss Shilp was spot on in her last year's predictions. Will the same be true this year? This is suspenseful television at its best, what you are used to when you tune in to Cloverdale Weekend Television.

Comprehensive School Note: Tonight's 'A Night of Classics' meets the fifth requirement of coursework for the Music history class at the Comprehensive School's Musical History Class.

A friendly reminder from the school's music department.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Cloverdale Weekend Television Presents Songs of Praise

The Weather for Clovershire and surrounding Districts.
Our patience will be rewarded today as the oppressive heat wave that has held us captive for the past week surrenders to low pressure forming off the coast of the Sea of Despair. Temperatures will drop, leaving the sky unblemished. Expect nearly cloudless conditions then, with the most perfect of summer temperatures. A beautiful day for a walk to church.
Today, Cloverdale's Salvationists perform on Cloverdale Weekend Television's Songs of Praise. Today's program begins with the Citadel Choir singing "Stand Up Stand Up for Jesus".