Friday, June 6, 2014
Dylan Wood, a ward of the state, was recently named Student of the Day at Cloverdale's School for the Behaviorally Challenged. His selection for this honor was partially based on his outstanding essay, "Screw Greenhouse Gases". A second reason for this honor was explained by the school's headmaster during the award's announcement over the school's PA system right before today's dismissal. "Dylan made it to the end of the day without overturning one single desk. It only took 176 days of school and therapy, but he did it.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Sister Edna Mary of the Sisters of Eternal Hope is celebrating her 100th birthday. She is a character isn't she? She ignores Cloverdale's ban on nursing home smoking, not to mention the always forbidden policy regulating the lighting of matches near oxygen bottles.
"It'll be a cold day in hell before they get my smokes!" she was heard shouting at the street sweepers yesterday as they swept the street in front of the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Confused. They are not bothered by Sister Edna Mary's rants and take no notice.
The nurses at the home tried to convince Sister Edna Mary to switch to the new smokeless, water vapor electronic cigarettes. She couldn't get it into her head that lighting them wasn't an option.
Don't stare at her cigarettes If you visit Sister Edna. It makes her uneasy. She'll think you're there to take them away.
"You'll have to pry them from my cold dead fingers!" She'll shout as she makes a run for the door.