Saturday, April 24, 2010
Marge Chambers lives at 224 Clover River Drive in Cloverdale. During the day she works as a window clerk for ShireBank and has done so for the past eight years. She is married to Lonn Chambers, a local contractor. Marge and Lonn are the proud parents of two children.
Marge is considered Cloverdale’s resident expert on all thing Tolkien. She owns all his books. She owns all the various television and motion picture productions of those books. She speaks fluent Elven, as do her children. Lonn struggles with the pronunciation but always gives it his best. There are times his dinner depends on how he responds to her questions when he sits down to eat.
Her regular bank customers are starting to learn a few Elven phrases as well. Through observation they’ve learned that those that speak a bit of the strange fictional language at her window are given a sweet before leaving.
Marge devotes several hours every month volunteering her time in the schools to teach creative writing and the importance of play and imagination in the school’s curriculum. She has several costumes from The Lord of the Rings movie and wears a different one to each school presentation.
Last year she refused to speak English at home until Lonn honored his promise to build a model of a Hobbit home for her school presentations. It took several weeks of work in his garage shop, but when he finished, Marge was so pleased she gave him a special treat and only spoke English for the next two weeks. Lonn was in heaven.
Next month Marge will offer a new service to the community. She will cater special Hobbit dishes to your next family, social or business event. She calls it Dine with the Hobbits. The food promises to be delicious and the beer will be plentiful, as one would expect from a Hobbit banquet. Serving your meal will be Marge and Lonn’s two children, dressed as Hobbits - complete with hairy feet. As a special treat, Marge will change into her Elven costume and do a reading. At the end of the reading Lonn, through no choice of his own, will appear as Gandolf the Wizard to bless the gathering. And, weather permitting, take the children outside to lite sparklers.
Marge is available to speak at gatherings with advance notice. She prefers two weeks but if you need an emergency speaker with a specialist’s knowledge of all things Tolkien, Marge is your lady. You can reach Marge to schedule your Night of Tolkien by calling Cloverdale 3245.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A missing child alert was issued today by Cloverdale’s Constabulary. Two year old Temor Thompson disappeared from his home at 324 Allsop Drive at 1:00 P.M. His parents searched the neighborhood then called the police for assistance. A bulletin was displayed on Cloverdale Weekend Television and announced on Cloverdale Radio 1, 2 and 3. Villagers by the score left their homes to search their own neighborhoods. The Neighborhood Watch Committees set up road blocks on all roads leading out of the village. The Boy and Girl Scouts volunteered to search the parks. The Anglican Woman’s Guild began baking cookies for the searches and the Salvation Army set up their mobile Canteen on the High Street to distribute coffee, tea and sandwiches. The village churches opened their doors so worshippers could offer prayers for the quick recovery of little Temor. A few extra collection boxes were placed near the front door of St. Bartholomew's. A second round of donations might put the church over its goal to raise enough money to replace one of the organ's pipes that mysteriously produces a high pitch tone when played. The tone isn't noticeable to the older parishioners but younger ones with better hearing definitely hear it (as gaged by their reactions whenever that pipe is played).
The Kicking Donkey and the Hairy Lemon Pubs closed to encourage their patrons to join in the search. Both establishments offered free beer to the person or persons who found the boy. It was just what the doctor ordered to get those "couldn't be bothered" lay about pub crawlers out and looking.
Three hours later the search was officially called off. Little Temor was found. Apparently he had fallen asleep on his mother’s bed, rolled over and disappeared between the crack separating his parent’s twin beds. It wasn’t until he managed to get his head between the opening and screamed did Mrs. Thompson hear him.
Everyone is relieved. The village is returning to normal (or as normal as Cloverdale can get). Mr. and Mrs. Thompson found a babysitter for tonight so they can enjoy the free drinks the pubs offered to the person or persons that found the boy. They booked at table at the Kicking Donkey for 7:00 P.M. and another table at The Hairy Lemon for 9:00 P.M. Their best friends, The Pallers from next door, will accompany them. Mr. Paller isn't a drinker so he will be the designated driver.
A side note on the search. The police reported that two stolen bikes and Mrs. Waterfords lost cat Tiffany were found during the search so the village's efforts were not in vain.
Weather. Cloverdale and Surrounding Villages
Warm describes today's temperatures starting in the A.M. and continuing throughout the daylight hours. Abundant sunshine will deliver a cloudless day. Open windows should provide adequate cooling in the afternoon and early evening. Most in the Weather Bureau agree this will be the first of many Sunday afternoon outings for the people of the Shire.