Saturday, December 18, 2010

Thorazine, Found Only at Cloverdale's Clowes Chemists.

Cloverdale’s Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Senile is pleased to announce a new treatment option for our agitated seniors. Clowes Chemist’s in Cloverdale have procured a delivery of a newly approved compound for the treatment of agitated seniors, our local schizophreniacs and the children in our schools suffering from hyperactivity and excitability.

Thorazine, as advertised in this new poster placed in the front window of the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Senile, is helpful in the treatment of many disorders of the brain, according to the Confederacy’s Ministry of Drugs and Chemical Compounds.

Clowes, The Chemists, is the sole distributor of Thorazine in the Cloverdale area. In addition to Thorazine, Clowes offers a wide range of drugs, sweets, tobacco and haberdasheries. It is your “One Stop Shopping for Drugs” according to their radio ads, played daily on Radio 4.

Many may not know this, but Clowes also carries a wide range of foreign drugs produced by reputable manufactures. These foreign drugs offer a less expensive option for those not able to afford the Confederacy’s higher standards for compound purity.

Clowes, The Chemists, encourages all to visit their store during the Holiday Season. This week’s specials include a 25% discount on ‘Holiday Bliss‘ a herbal treatment for holiday stress and fatigue. When taken with a small amount of whisky, Holiday Bliss has been known to calm those suffering from excessive holiday excitement. Holiday Bliss' tranquilizing effects are also good for those facing the holidays alone.

Enjoy your shopping experience. Shop the shops of Cloverdale.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Cloverdale's Parthenon and Dorcet Deacon’s Delicious Delicacies. A Perfect Match for your Christmas Festivities

Cloverdale's Parthenon, Your Home for Christmas Party Fun.

Are you looking for a classy setting for your family, group or organization’s Christmas Party? We ask that you consider Cloverdale’s Parthenon, located at the south end of Cloverdale’s village park, near the duck pond and public toilets.

The Parthenon offers competitive rates with other local venues such as Cloverdale’s two local pubs, The Kicking Donkey and The Hairy Lemon. It can accommodate groups of two to eight persons with sink and microwave provided.

Heating can be a bit of a bother in the Winter. Fires are allowed in the fireplace although there have been complaints about bird nests clogging the chimney.

Dorcet Deacon of Dorcet Deacon's Delicious Delicacies proudly displaying her establishment's Fully Catered English Breakfast Available at Cloverdale's Parthenon.

Dorcet Deacon’s Delicious Delicacies is a local village caterer who offers a discount to groups using The Parthenon. Her kitchen is located just outside the park’s south gate meaning your meal can be cooked fresh and delivered directly to the Parthenon minutes after coming out of the ovens. Her speciality is a fully catered English Breakfast for those families looking for something different for their catered evening meal.

“I know it may seem somewhat peculiar to serve breakfast for dinner but delicious food is good anytime,” Dorcet said in a recent telephone interview. “We’ve catered several full breakfasts for family gatherings at the Parthenon and each was a resounding success.”

The Millard’s booked The Cloverdale Parthenon for their family Christmas party last week. For the past ten years, the Millard’s reserved the Saved by Grace Lutheran Church Hall. But with the passing of Grandpa several months back and Grandma now a resident at the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Senile (not to mention their oldest Merity, now a student at the Polytechnic and not expected home until December 24th) the Lutheran Hall was just too big for their smaller family gathering. The Parthenon offered the solution. And, with Dorcet’s kitchen able to cater at a reasonable price, the decision was easy. The Parthenon was it for this years Millard Family Christmas gathering.

“We had a great time,” wrote Martin Millard on the post booking survey mailed to him after the event and returned in this morning’s post. “The venue was clean and cozy and the food was to die for, although Mother thought it weird that I ordered the recommended breakfast. We adapted and grew closer as a family over sausage, beans, bacon and egg.”

Cloverdale’s Parthenon should be your family’s choice for your group Christmas Party.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Philmore Pffiggins. Cloverdale's Newly Elected Mayor.

Philmore Pffiggins is the newly elected mayor of Cloverdale, having beat his opponent by twelve votes in last month’s elections. His opponent, and current mayor, disputed the election and claimed voting irregularities, but such is to be expected in a Cloverdale election. The Shire Elections Board reviewed the charges and found them unwarranted. Their ruling forgave the election judge in charge of the Polling Site at the Kicking Donkey Pub near the village’s train station.

In the ruling, the election board stated,
Regulations strictly forbid the consumption of alcohol by any one serving as an election judge. But considering this election station was located in a pub, and considering the judge at the station was Mrs. Liddy Lampke, a prominent citizen of the community and known to be able to hold her liquor, it is decided that the two pints she consumed during election day did not affect the voting at said location and therefore did not affect the outcome of the election.
The current mayor disagrees but decided not to pursue the matter fearing a reprisal from his landlady, who happens to be a member of Mrs. Liddy Lamke’s Gin and Tonic Club which meets at the Kicking Donkey on the second Tuesday of every month.

Mayor Elect Pffiggins owns the tailor shop located at the back of Beatrix Potter’s Pottery and Fine Porcelain Shop on the High Street in Cloverdale. His suits are know throughout the Shire for quality craftsmanship and unparalleled stitching. In fact, he is wearing one of his own creations in the photograph above, taken during one of his lunchtime constitutionals through the village. Mayor Pffiggins calls these walks “my meet and greets”. It is his way of connecting with the villagers and increasing his business traffic.

Mayor Elect Pffiggins will be sworn in on January 4th at the village library. He is promising a new suit for the occasion and rumor has it he has ordered a new hat from his suppliers in England. The swearing in ceremony may be something our readers will not want to miss.

The Mayor’s Ball and Bingo will be held that same evening in St. Bartholomew’s Social Hall. Tickets may be purchased at the Library, or from Miss Beatrix Potter. Miss Potter has graciously volunteered to help with ticket sales, considering Mayor Elect Pffiggins does not keep a cash register on his premises.