Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Walk on a Hot Cloverdale Day.

Hello Friends,
It's hotter than Hades in Cloverdale today. The clouds themselves disappeared in search for shade. It may not be hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk but I dare you to walk across that same sidewalk barefoot. Your frantic hopping about would amuse anyone passing by.

I thought to walk along the canal and then cut over the field to the Piggly Wiggly for a few groceries. When the cupboards are bare one does what one must do to eat, even if it means braving this blast furnace of a July day. I don't have a car in Cloverdale. I leave my Lincoln Battlestar Town Car in the Other World when I come here for the weekends on the Coastal Express. Everything I need is within walking distance. There are, however, a few times when a car would be a Godsend (like today). I'm hoping my frozen food still carries a chill by the time I get it home and in the freezer.

The air was warm and scented by lilac's growing along the canal. I walked slowly, there was no rush. In fact, rushing is outlawed in Cloverdale. Newcomers to the village are surprise when locals stop them in their scurry and tell them to "Slow Down. Life's too short."

I took a round about way to the store, wanting to stop for a sticky bun and ice cold milk at the Moss Wonderland Bakery. The shop was busy with villagers making their bakery purchases for the weekend. I sat on one of the outside tables to eat my second breakfast and was soon joined by Vanessa Bleech, local school teacher and connoisseur of fine cream puffs. We spoke of the weather and the lack of rain. She carried the rest of the conversation, directing it toward school and teaching in general. I stopped her half way through her description of her last year's class and excused myself. She nodded, giving me permission to take my leave. I was happy to be on my way. I glanced back and saw that she had changed tables and was entertaining the grumpy Boot's Chemist. He looked like a trapped animal cornered by a Blabberbeast.

In passing I stopped to read the outside bulletin board on the lawn of St. Bartholomew's Church. It made me laugh. It read

St. Bartholomew's Catholic Church
Cloverdale, Clovershire

Monday: Abused Feelings Support Group
Tuesday: Alcoholics Anonymous
Wednesday: Eating Disorders
Thursday: Say No to Drugs
Friday: Bankruptcy Support and Counseling
Saturday: Soup Kitchen
Sunday Services: 9:00 A.M. This Week's Sermon: Cloverdale's Joyous Future!

Sister Elizabeth Mary Catherine Teresa, Host of You Are Sin.

Another sign was taped to the bottom of the Notice Board advertising Sister Elizabeth Mary Catherine Teresa, Mother Superior of the Convent of the Sisters of Ever Increasing Hope's weekly television show 'You Are Sin' on Cloverdale Weekend Television every Sunday morning at 10:00 AM

This Week on
You Are Sin
Hosted by Sister Elizabeth Mary Catherine Teresa


Yes, I'll be sure to tune in for that!

To make a long story short, I made it to the Piggly Wiggly, bought my groceries and got home before my ice cream completely melted. Mind you, I nearly suffered from heat stroke in my haste. I'm resting now with computer on lap and enjoying the breeze stirred up by my small electric fan. Perhaps I'll go out later tonight. There should be local music at the Kicking Donkey. If you're in town, stop by and say hello.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Garth Gibbon's Seventh Birthday Party

The Photograph from the Birthday Invitations Sent to Garth's Friends
Inviting Them to His Seventh Birthday Party.

Garth “007” Gibbons Celebrates Seventh Birthday.
Taken From Cloverdale’s Weekly Newspaper: The Confederacy Times
Cloverdale (News)

Garth Gibbons, or "007" as he prefers to be called, celebrated his seventh birthday last Friday at the Assisted Living Home of Floyd Gibbons, his grandfather and resident of the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Infirmed. The Home's Director allowed the Gibbons exclusive use of the therapy pool and hot tub for a surprisingly large rental fee gladly paid by Floyd and many of the other male residents of the Home.

“The boy loves James Bond and has all the movies,” Floyd said of his grandson. “Course, I’m not so sure if isn’t the beautiful women Garth is more attracted to than James Bond himself, if the boy is anything like his granddad!”

Floyd contact a modelling agency in Capital City and hired their top models to be on hand to “decorate” the party and give it that 'James Bond' look. Games of chance were set up poolside so Garth and his friends could experience the life of a playboy at a Monte Carlo Casino. The boys gambled for prizes and candy using fake money. Each of boys were also issued water pistols at the pool gate, just in case Jame's arch Nemesis, Toothless Floyd, crashed the party seeking revenge from James Bond for his hand in Thwarting his bank robbery in Paris the year before.

"The whole Toothless Floyd was my idea," Floyd Gibbons said during the interview for this article. He removed his upper denture to illustrate the reason by he chose to give himself the name 'Toothless Floyd".

The models arrived one hour early. Floyd’s Grandfather claimed it was a communication error on his part for not notifying the agency of a change in the party’s starting time.
“As long as you are here, why not take advantage of the pool and hot tub while you wait. We will cover the extra hour,” Floyd suggested to the Agency’s Director.

The models did not disappoint. Each wore the kind of swimwear one would expect for a James Bond event. The models made use of the pool while they waited. The Home’s gentlemen were poolside to ensure they were properly supervised and well cared for. The Home’s Director was shocked to later learn that champagne, and other alcoholic beverages, were smuggled onto the premises and served to the models poolside. Alcohol has always been a violation of the Home’s rules. The Home's Director later punished Floyd and his friends by taking away their after supper desserts for two weeks. Floyd later said the punishment was a small price to pay for the "feeling of being young again". Of course, the alcohol was removed when the children arrived and the real party started.

Little Garth and his friends said it was the best party ever. The attending boy’s dads were in complete agreement. Garth and his friends especially like it when his granddad and friends came shuffling out of the building carrying Water Cannon 300’s, the most powerful water pistols sold at Donaldson’s Department Store. Toothless Floyd and his gang of geriatric thugs and criminals attacked the boys, shooting them, and the models, with blasts of water in an attempt to take out the great James Bond himself. However Garth and his friends, with help from the models, fought back. In the end, the attack was thwarted and the old men lay on the concrete - dead by water blast. After several pictures were taken of the boys gloating over the bodies of their fallen arch enemies, the models helped the old men up from the concrete and escorted them to the deck chairs so they could enjoy the rest of the party and scenery.

It was a boy’s party never to be forgotten by the residents of the Cloverdale, and in particular, the male inmates of the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Infirmed.

Cloverdale Weekend Television. Music for a Still Summer's Night.

Cloverdale Weekend Television:
Saturday Night: 19:00 hrs - 22:00 hrs. Music for a Still Summer's Night. Followed by the news and weather.