"Careful, We Strike and We Bite"
Memo: To all Border Stations
From: Confederacy of Dunces Ministry of Defense
Re: Aptitude Test
The Government has authorized the following procedure to determine the aptitude of a refugee to adapt into our society. This procedure may be implemented immediately at all border crossings with the Other World. If you have questions please contact our office. The Ministry of Defense is open Monday to Friday from 9:00 A.M. to Noon. We are closed all holidays, bank holidays and the occasional Monday when the Minister feels a three day weekend is warranted. The number is Filmore 8659. The receptionist at the Ministry is pregnant so let it ring. She may have stepped out for a minute.
- Fill up the bathtub at the guard station.
- Give the applicant a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
- If the applicant reaches for the bucket admit them into the Confederacy.
- If the applicant reaches for the tub's plug then reject them.