Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Passage of a 5% Tax
The CTU’s (Confederacy Teacher’s Union) billboard on the High Street celebrating the 5% tax increase imposed on all Confederacy families by the School Council.
“You don’t mess with kid’s futures,” said Lavern Spillster spokeswoman for the CTU. "We fought hard for this tax increase. We haven’t had a raise in five years."
Lavern blamed the past failures of the tax increase for teacher pay on Maurice Marpool, the local Scrooge and personality challenged President of the School Council.
"Maurice hates teachers. Who could hate teachers? What a Moron. He sure changed his mind about our pay raise when we threw a strike in his face. This poster is our way of saying ‘We Won and Stick it to you!" Lavern shouted with a finger pointed to heaven and a little hop in her step. "Look at the expression on that kid. It only took 34 attempts of giving him a cookie and then taking it away. He cried at first but we conditioned that out of him. Our teacher training came in handy?” Lavern added with a sincere look of accomplishment.
Maurice Marpool, was shocked by the billboard. “Damn Teachers,” he was overheard repeating as he stood on the street corner staring at the larger than life abomination.
"That is so Offensive," he added as he walked away. There was additional mumbling but it couldn't be heard.