Saturday, February 7, 2009

Abigail Hickell's Sleepover

Abigail holding Empress Chow, Hairball's predecessor. The Empress met her demise when one of the Ernest's cars fell from its blocks during the big wind a year ago. A tragedy for one with such a noble pedigree.

The Hickell family rented a VCR machine from the local Confederated Food Amazatorium where food is as cheap as the service. It was little Abigail Lu’s eleventh birthday. Mrs. Martell Hickell, Abigail’s mother, loved shopping at the Amazatorium where saving a nickel was a good as 5 cents in your pocket. The Hickell children relished in the assorted flavors of Macaroni and Cheese offered only at the Amazatorium. Abigail’s favorite was Raspberry Sherbet Macaroni and Cheese. It was her choice for her slumber party supper!

While Abigail’s mother filled her shopping cart with an assortment of macaroni and cheese surprises, Abigail browsed the rows and rows of videos looking for the right one for her sleep over.
“I want scary,” she told the pimpled clerk at the cash register. He thought for a moment while he used one hand to pick out a leftover from lunch caught between his front teeth and his other to text his girlfriend who was still at home in bed at 2:00 in the afternoon.
“I got just the video for your sleepover,” he said as he opened his private drawer under the countertop and pulled out his recommendation. He looked both directions to see if his manager was watching, and slid it toward Abigail. She picked it up smiling ear to ear.
“Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” she slobbered in delight.
“Yep it is. Now this is hush hush. This video is banned by Cloverdale’s PTA because it shows disrespect to a corpse but I keep a copy her for my preferred clients,” he said as he rubbed his fore finger against the back of his thumb, the international agreed upon sign for ‘pay up’.
Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he noticed a fellow student from the Upper Comprehensive School standing at the opposite end of the counter with cell phone up and engaged in camera mode. It was one of Hanne Hush’s snitches posed and ready to capture another mis-deed.
The clerk quickly pulled the video back and locked it into the drawer before the snap of the camera. He dodged a bullet. He couldn’t afford another brush with Hanne.
“I want Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” Abigail demanded.
“No ma’am,” said the clerk in a humble tone borrowed from his many hours of watching the nearly guilty parties quivering in the shadow of Judge Judy’s bench on Cloverdale’s very own KRAP television Channel 12. “Here, someone just brought this back. Said it was scary. It’s called Signs’. I've never seen it but I’m told it is a story about farmer making art in his field and bug eyed aliens taken his cows for a barbecue.......... or something.”

Abigail was satisfied with the choice and found her mother. She helped load the groceries into the back of their 1983 Confederate Motor's P'Van (short for People's Van) affectionatly called ‘Blue Thunder’. Blue because of the color of its exhaust, which could fog up an entire street with an oily haze. Cloverdale’s Air Quality Index went RED where ever the Hickell’s Van travelled. There was also the problem with the dead birds dropping from the cloud and littering the streets. Thunder because of the backfiring - a dozen or so ear popping BANGS just on the drive home!

The Hickells live outside of town on the Coastal Road half way between Cloverdale and Dibley in the Downs. They are the proprietors of ‘Hickells Outdoor Motor Museum and Painted Rock Garden’, a not to be forgotten roadside attraction of vintage cars on blocks, covering the acre or so that make up their front yard, and stacks of painted rocks molded into various sculptures by the Hickell children. The inspiration came from a book of modern sculpture Abigail found in the dumpster outside of Cloverdale's Christian Science Reading Room.

“It ain’t no eyesore,” said Ernest Hickell as he defended his collection against a recent editorial in the Confederacy Times. " I'm guess'en it depends on one’s definition of beauty."

Ernest Hickell. Taken after seeing the video 'Signs' at
his daughter's party. He takes alien sightings seriously.

The family makes some money running the museum thanks to the Hickell children’s lemonade stand. Buy a lemonade and you got a free ticket to the museum. Ernest thought of that marketing scheme himself - which was unusual for him.

The sleep over was a success. Abigail and her friends were terrified after watching Signs. Ernest watched the movie with them. He spent the rest of the night outside in the backyard with a shot gun and home made gas mask constructed of a paper towel attached to his mouth and nose by a rubber band stretched around his head. The girls slept with aluminum foil dunce caps to shield their thoughts and location from ‘them green aliens from Mars’.
Abigail’s cat ‘Hairball’ was foiled as well so the aliens couldn’t find her. Abigail was afraid the aliens, after having their barbecue of stolen cow, may want to try cat instead. Hairball was not amused.

Hairball Shielded from Them Aliens

All is well this Saturday morning in Cloverdale in the Shire. There were no alien sightings or crop circles. Ernest fired his shotgun three times. Three dead crows were the result. The only thing reported to the constables was a mysterious cloud of blue oily smoke on the Coastal Road. It was Mrs. Hickell taking Abigail’s friends home after breakfast.

1 comment:

  1. Goodness, it's hard to keep up with the activities of those interesting folks in Cloverdale. I need to try harder.