Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Hanna Hush of Hush Limited.

Hanna Hush. Secret Keeper

There are many adjectives to describe Hanna Hush of 32 Evergreen Circle; entrepreneur, opportunist, ambulance chaser, black mailer, extortionist, or pain in the .... well you know. She is a student at Cloverdale’s Comprehensive Upper School. She regards that as her day job. After school she manages ‘Hush Limited’. Hush Ltd. keeps secrets - for a price, and to keep secrets you must first HAVE secrets.

Hanna got into the secret business in elementary school. She was always the Teacher's Pet and Supreme Tattle Tale. She knew everyone's secrets and used that information to advance herself. Today Hanna has fine tuned her operation. She employs several dozen fellow students. They are called her Hush Harvesters. Every day they are given a list of appointments. Here are two examples:

Susan Peer:
4:40 P.M. Lake Park with dog. Walk the dog. Pay close attention to any and everything. If you spot a potential client involved in an misdeed of any kind use your cell phone and snap a photo.

Teddy Truman
6:00 P.M. PiggyMart. Slip the cashier the agreed amount. Hang out waiting for potential clients. Pay close attention to anyone purchasing beer or cigarettes. Get a picture.

Hanna’s army of Hush Harvesters canvas the village and surrounding area on a regular basis. They regard themselves as Cloverdale’s Community Watch with a profitable twist.
Every week Hanna and her staff review the submitted photographs of potential clients to determine if a ‘misdeed’ was committed. If one is found, a letter with a copy of the photo is sent to the person with this note.

Urgent. Possible Secret Divulged:
This picture was taken by someone with a cell phone and has been brought to our attention. Your reputation is compromised. You were involved in a situation which, if found out, could lead to embarrassment or punishment.

The Answer:
Hush Ltd. provides a silencing service. For a fee we will contact the person and negotiate an erasure of the aforementioned photograph. You will be notified of the erasure price - payable in cash. Hush Ltd. will act as the intermediary. You will be notified when the erasure is complete. Your secret will be safeguarded, never to be revealed. Our service is guaranteed. Anyone breaking our contracted erasure is dealt with severely. If you have a Hush Hush then come to the experts at Hush Limited. Your Secrets are Our Secrets.

Hanna urges the citizens of Cloverdale in the Shire to obey the law. Misdeeds can be costly.


  1. Wow! This woman is scary...I bet she and her troops are extorting $$$$$ this very moment from all the shameless Hollywoodites that attended the Sundunce Film Festival last month.

    Actually,now that I think of it...the Utah Legislature has the same character profile as Hanna: extortionists, opportunists, secretive,trying to litigate adulthood, taxing and penalizing the imperfect smokers and drinkers...shesh

  2. I'll certainly be on the lookout for her and her minions.