Saturday, February 21, 2009

Tamworth on Tide

The Confederacy of Dunces is home to many communities that share our unique outlook on life. Communities where the hustle and bustle of modern life is left at the border with The Other World. A place where a bit of confusion is accepted. A place where your business meeting is scheduled to start 'around 9 or 10 A.M.' Yes, it takes awhile to get things done here but we sure have a good time doing them.

This is Tamworth on Tide located forty kilometers from Cloverdale near the Coast of Despair, The Confederacy of Dunces's harbor. Ships depart and arrive daily bringing people to and from our Confederacy. Many come to our commonwealth looking for sanctuary from the future shock of modern living. Many leave the Confederacy seeking fortune, fame and endless caffeine rushes in The Other World.

Tamworth on Tide is a beautiful weekend destination for the traveller seeking a lazy stroll by the sea with a stop for a drink, good conversation, and the best Shepard's Pie in the Shire. All of this can be found at The Blue Dolphin Pub. I recommend the outdoor tables. Each table is supplied with a candle, a bowl of pretzels and an excellent view of the sea. Captain Jack performs every weekend on his harpsichord singing your favorite sea shanties. He is a real character dressed in his 18th century costume. A word of caution, he puts everything into his music so be advised to sit out of spittle range to avoid an unpleasant missile attack on your Shepard's Pie. Captain Jack is a gentleman that never drinks hard liquor except when toasting fallen sailors lost to the sea - which happens frequently at a sea side pub so he can get a bit tipsy by evening's end. His slightly inebriated state adds a sense of realism to his music!

Captain Jack prepares for his evening performance
at The Blue Dolphin. Please don't request 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.
Please........ we mean it........ For Pity's Sake have Mercy!

Before leaving Tamworth on Tide we recommend you stop by Selmund's Salt Water Taffy Emporium. Get your picture taken with Mr. Taffy. Sample the best salt water taffy in town. Watch for the neon sign overhead that reads "Fresh Taffy Now". When it flashes its time to pull and kiss a new batch of mouth watering, denture destroying, crown pulling, taffy. Jump right in and help. No experience needed. Its an experience you'll not likely forget.

Mr. Taffy, a Local Favorite and tourist attraction all to himself.

Remember Tamworth on Tide the next time you gas up the car and take the family out for an airing.

1 comment:

  1. This is a great discription of a sea-side pub...but might add a dart board and tv blaring the local trash talk, clam chow-da and always someone sitting at the bar drinking a "black & tan" slurring comments at the bartender and tv. Cheers!