Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Brewsters. Donaldson Department Store's Christmas Family for 2010.

The Brewsters of 12 Apple Court Way, Cloverdale were selected to be Donaldson’s Department Store’s Christmas Family for 2010. The selection for Christmas Family of 2010 was conducted last week at the Hairy Lemon Pub. Major Ezra Pills of the Salvation Army headed the committee (in return for permission to place a Red Kettle at the store’s main entrance during the holiday season). Other committee members included Sister Esther Mary Scown, Headmistress of St. Bartholomew’s Primary School, Constable Willard, and Samantha Jordan, librarian at Confederacy Elementary School.

Major Pills called the meeting to order after everyone finished a delicious dinner of Steak and Kidney Pie and Fizzy Lemonade. The meeting started with a video of last years’s Christmas Family fulfilling their responsibilities in the store. You saw them greeting customers at the door. You saw them endure hours of tedious photo shoots complete with multiple clothing changes. You saw them passing out Donaldson Department Store coupons along the village’s Christmas parade route.

What you didn’t see was their resignation three days before Christmas. The family complained about the long hours and the fact that they were doing the paid employee's work in the store. The father wrote the following in a letter to the editor of Confederacy Times, Cloverdale's newspaper:
"My wife and I felt our job as Christmas Family was the Donaldson family's way of giving their employees paid time off as a Christmas bonus. They got the paid vacation time while we did their work for them. It wasn't right. Old man Donaldson is Cloverdale's Mr. Scrooge for sure and all we got out of the deal was a Nintendo Wii."
The committee poured over the twelve applications, comparing their qualifications to the strict guidelines the Donaldson family gave them to follow as they made their selection.
  • It had to be a traditional family.
  • The parents had to be married.
  • The had to have at least 1 boy and 1 girl with above average looks and proportioned to fit into the clothes Donaldson’s would be selling during the holidays.
  • The mother had to have a motherly look about her.
  • The parents had to be respectable in the community.
  • The family had to be Christian and celebrate Christmas.
There was only one family that met all the requirements, making the selection committee’s job easier. The Major closed the meeting thanking everyone for their time, went home and called to give the Brewsters the good news. Needless to say the Brewsters were ecstatic.

“What made us stand out over the other applicants?” Bruce Brewsters asked the Major.
“It was the photograph that accompanied your application,” the Major lied. He didn’t want to tell them they won simply through the elimination process.
I knew it!” Bruce shouted. Evidently the idea to dress up as Christmas presents was his idea for their Christmas 2009 family Christmas Card.

The Brewsters first responsibility as Christmas Family is to learn how to use the store’s cleaning chemicals.

The citizens of Cloverdale congratulate the Brewsters on their selection as Donaldson Department Store’s Christmas Family of 2010.

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