Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dink's New Dunce Mini

The Binkerhoff’s of 2214 Marley Avenue in Cloverdale purchased a used car yesterday at the Dibley in the Downs Flea Market held every Saturday at Dibley Commons. Its a 2002 DunceMini, the Confederacy’s answer to the Volkswagen Beetle.

Dink Binkerhoff was bursting with pride over his family’s new Mini. He spent yesterday's early afternoon giving the car a wash and a polish so it wouldn't look out of place next to their neighbor’s Land Rover. For the rest of the afternoon, every 15 minutes or so, he'd go back outside to brush off any accumulated dust or dirt that happened to drift onto the bright red surface.

At 4:00 P.M. Dink watched The Addams Family on Cloverdale Weekend Television. He never misses the Adam’s Family. Its an American show that makes him laugh and laugh. He thinks Uncle Fester is the best. He plans on Trick or Treating as Uncle Fester this Halloween.

At 4:30 P.M. Dink went outside to give the Mini another touch up. He circled the car, brushing it off and wiping away smudges with a wet index finger. He heard a whistle blow at the end of the lane. The afternoon shift at Cloverdale Bakery was over. He wanted the Mini to look its best when the employees walked by on their way to catch the number 3 bus for the train station.

“My dad bought a new car today.” he said to a group of stout women wearing hair nets and white bakery coats with blue collars as they passed his house.
“That’s nice love,” one of them said.
Another stopped to give it a good look over. “A Mini. What do we have here ladies? This Posh gentlemen has a new Mini? Care to take a group of ladies out for a nice meal at the Savoy?" They cackled at the suggestion and continued walking down the pavement.

He did another lap around the car. It truly was a sight to behold. He glanced down the street. A teenage girl was half running and half walking his direction. She looked like a 12th year student at the Comprehensive School.

“My dad bought a new car today.” he said. The girl stopped and walked over to him.
“A Mini. Oh doesn’t it look a treat.” she said as she removed her hair net and stuffed it into her pocket. “Bet you’re proud aren’t you? Bet you plan on driving it when you’re older- don’t ya? Hey I know. How about you and me take it for a bit of a spin. I've got a license. I’m late and if I miss my bus I'm dead. Come on, help a girl out?”

Dink thought for a moment. It seemed like a good thing to do. His parents always said everyone should help people because you never know when you’re gong to need help yourself.

“Sure,” Dink replied.
“You're a pal. Where are the keys?” she asked.
“In the car ?” Dink answered.
“Smart boy, Smart boy,” the girl patted him on the head and jumped into the driver’s seat. Dink opened the door and jumped in beside her.
“Now remember, it was your idea to give me a lift to the bus stop....... right?” the lady asked.
“Well, I thought you were the one that asked.” Dink replied.
“You got it confused. Remember, you offered me a lift. You know, poor girl needed a ride and you having this new car and all. You offered me a ride because you’re a proper gentleman. Right?”
“Ah, sure. I offered you a lift because I’m a......”
“Proper Gentleman.” she interrupted, helping him get the lie squared away in his head.
“Yea, a proper Gentleman.” Dink smiled at the thought that a pretty girl called him a proper gentleman.

She stared the Mini. They backed out into the road and started down the street.
“You know, I don’t know what my boyfriend will do if he finds out I went out driving with a good lookin bloke like yourself. He might go mad. Better get down so no one sees.”
Dink slouched down in the seat until they got to the bus stop.

“Thanks. You’re a sweetheart.” The girl said as she kissed her index finger and placed it on his lips. She was out the door just in time to catch the bus. Dink sat up. She waved goodbye from the bus window.

Dink got out of the Mini. He did a good deed. He knew his mother and father would be so proud of him. Now, all he had to do was figure out how to get the car back home.

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