The Raven’s Wake for the Lost Lenore

The Haunted Bellvue Estate off Highway 3
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore..............

Edgar Allan Poe

Cloverdale’s Edgar Allan Poe Society will hold their yearly The Raven’s Wake for the Lost Lenore at the haunted Bellvue estate. The estate is located just off Highway 3 four miles outside of the village. Turn left at the pole with the attached camera standing in Floyd Farnell’s field (See post on Floyd Farnell). The road is not maintained so prepare for a bone jarring journey.

The Society encourages you to dress warmly and bring your first aid kit. There were a few minor injuries last year when the stuffed Raven broke off the slip wire stretching across the dining room and fell into the widow Morris’s lap. The widow, already in a state of excitement from the poem’s reading by candle light, sprang from her chair screaming the white off the estate's ghosts. This ear shattering shriek caused a minor stampede and the partial collapse of the once grand stairway.

The Society spent the major portion of its member’s dues on repairs to the estate and feels the Wake this year will be safe for all, including our ‘unearthly visitors’. So come join the Society for The Raven’s Wake for the Lost Lenore. The food will be ‘ghastly’ and the company 'terrifyingly spooky'.

Madam Toppel and the Champagne Ball

Madam Toppel of Toppel's Champagne Dance Academy
Taken just before her fall at the Dibley in the Down MiniMall.
Her hip replacement was successful.

The Salvation Army’s Ragtime Band will be playing at the monthly Champagne Ball held on the last Friday of each month in the gym at the Comprehensive Upper School. Come join your neighbors in a high stepping, room spinning evening of waltz and polka. The Champagne Ball begins at 8:00 P.M. The Cloverdale Cloggers will conduct free dance lessons in the chemistry lab one hour before the dance begins for those suffering from two left feet, club feet, and flat feet.
A special performance will make this month's dance an evening not to forget. Madam Murdle Toppel will get the night started with a free range feather dance. Madam Toppel was the proprietress of Toppel’s Champagne Dance Academy until she retired three years ago at age 92. This will be her first public performance since her hip replacement last summer. Her broken hip was the result of a terrible fall at the Dibley in the Downs MiniMall when jumping from the base of a lamp post while dancing to "Singing in the Rain".
Madam Toppel’s free range feather dance will be very special. She will be incorporating her cane and walking frame (the feathers are attached to the frame) into the dance itself.

Enjoy your Friday evening at the Cloverdale’s Champagne Ball.

Warning: the gym floor grows slippery as the evening progresses due to the soapy residue from the bubbles created by the bubble machine. We urge senior citizens to surrender the floor around 10:00 P.M. before it becomes too slippery. Also, Refreshments are served but the punch tends to get soapy as well.

The New Salvation Army Thrift Store on the High Street

The New Salvation Army Thrift Store and Ragtime Band

Cloverdale in the Shire’s Salvation Army is opening their new Thrift Store on the High Street. They wish to thank the citizen’s of Cloverdale and Dibley in the Downs for their generous contributions of nearly new, not so new, barely new, and laughably new donations of clothing, furnishings, appliances and electronics.

The Salvation Army Ragtime Band played Christian hits from the 1920's all day long as they welcomed the steady stream of cars and wagons bringing donations to the Thrift Store. Each donor was thanked in song and given a piece of donated, nearly new day old, cake from the Red Owl Grocery Store’s Bakery.

“I’m so glad they are here,” said Martha Wantnot as she arrived with two UHauls full of items and an unwelcomed pick up truck full of cheering neighbors. She was accompanied by the city's Fire Marshall. “My home was nearly condemned as a fire trap by the Fire Marshall because of my collections. I just can’t throw anything away bless my soul. The Good Book says ‘Waste Not, Want Not’ and I take my scriptures seriously. It’s obvious they don’t, ” she added while pointing to her ecstatic neighbors. On her way to help unload her collections she was seen stooping over to pick up a plastic fork. It went promptly into her purse.

“Yes, I’m happy we have a Thrift Store in Cloverdale,” said Derman Donaldson of Donaldson’s Department Store and President of the local Chamber of Commerce. “Donaldson’s wants to contribute to the poor and needy any way we can, while at the same time, remembering that the Lord helps those who help themselves. Why just look at the handicapped over there sorting the clothing we donated. Where else could people like that work and feel some sense of success no matter how insignificant? Working here for the Salvationists takes them off the welfare roles and isn't that the true purpose of religion? Bless the Salvationist's hearts for the good they'll do in our community,” he added as he pocketed his ‘in kind’ tax receipt from General Isaiah Junkell, General of the local Salvation Army. “Besides the town dump won’t take most of this junk anymore,” he was heard to mumble under his breath as he climbed into his Rolls Royce and sped away nearly running down a car greeter in a wheel chair.

General Junkell

General Junkell and his lovely wife Shirley encourage everyone to come down, visit the new store and buy a raffle ticket for a fantastic Grand Prize donated by Donaldson’s Department Store (See Picture Below). A brand new, never sold, once - state of the art video camera.

As Lord Mayor of Cloverdale in the Shire I want to welcome the new Salvation Army Thrift Store to our community.

A Once State of the Art Home Video Camera
The First Prize in the Salvation Army Raffle
Kindly Donated from the back of Donaldson's Warehouse

Daddy and Doughnuts at St. Bartholomew's Primary School

Sister Esther Mary Scown

St. Bartholomew's Headmistress with her ruler "Vengeance is Mine"

Tomorrow is Daddy and Doughnuts at St. Bartholomew's Primary School in Cloverdale in the Shire. The school opens at 5:00 A.M. for the dads that work at the plant. The event lasts until school starts at 9:00 A.M. A kindly reminder to the dads out there, this is not an all you can eat event. We ran out of Doughnuts last year. We had 150 participants and 500 donuts!
Sister Esther Mary Scown, the Headmistress, will be monitoring Doughnut consumption. And yes, she still carries her metal ruler 'Vengenance is Mine' - just in case. She's the fastest draw in the Shire (in the last Headmaster/Headmistress metal ruler and palm slapping competition for encourageable youth).

Cloverdale Weekend Television. Its Whats On!