Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Matthew Perry, A Forgetling.
Matthew Perry lives with his parents and sister on Cloverdale’s Maple Street. His mother always says that its a good thing their home is fastened to the Earth on a secure foundation because if it wasn’t, Matthew would lose it and the family would be homeless. Matthew Perry hears things like that all the time because he was born a Forgetling.
Forgetlings are people that have above average intelligent but can’t seem to remember anything they consider mundane. The term was coined by Professor Delp, head of the Psychiatric Department at Cloverdale’s Community College. He has a special practice working with Frogetlings. He has written several pamphlets on the condition and has been asked to present his research at several gatherings, the latest of which was to the Lutheran Woman’s Organization at the Saved By Grace Lutheran Church in Cloverdale.
Professor Delp is considered to be on the fringe of acceptable practice by his fellow psychiatrists. He isn’t taken seriously, nor is his practice and research, but that doesn’t deter the kindly 64 year old Dr. Delp. He knows he is helping people suffering from this crippling social behavioural condition and that is all that matters.
Matthew Perry is a regular patient of Dr. Delp, visiting him every Thursday after school. He has been visiting the Doctor for the past seven months. His first appointment came after an incident at home involving his father's best tie. A suddenly forgetful spasm nearly resulted in a spanking sure to be heard up and down the neighborhood. Matthew's mother interceded on her son's behalf and stopped the punishment before it could be carried out.
It seems Matthew was running late for school that day and had misplaced his school tie. Matthew knew the consequences of arriving at St. Batholomew's’s Catholic School without one’s school tie. It meant in school suspension in the office of the Mother Superior of the Convent of the Sisters of Ever Increasing Hope. In desperation, Matthew entered his parent’s bedroom, found his father’s tie and put it on. It was too long. Matthew knew how to solve that problem with a pair of scissors. It was a serious lack of common sense in addition to being forgetful.
Dr. Delp diagnosed Matthew as a Forgetling after their first consultation. Shortly thereafter, he added another condition to Matthew’s file. He labeled Matthew Socially Unaware, meaning he was incapable of determining the proper course of action in any given social situation. When asked his feelings on being diagnosed with two mental disorders, Matthew shrugged his shoulders and asked if anyone had seen his misplaced left shoe.
Matthew will continue to work to overcome his handicaps with Dr. Delp’s help. If you, or someone you love, suffers from Forgetfulness please contact Dr. Delp at the Community College. His practice is reasonably priced and has been known to produce results, albeit limited.