Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Nazi Secret Weapon Uncovered

This Report Filed by Mark (Scoop) Daymont. Scoop Daymont is the Dunce News Service's (DNS) International Coorespondent for Foreign News. If its news and it foreign, Scoop Daymont will be there!

And Now Mark Daymont's Report

Nazi Secret Weapon Uncovered

Cloverdale researcher Harvey Fuddlestone has made military history news last week with his announcement of the discovery of previously unknown Nazi weaponry from World War 2.
It all started with a visit to his uncle Charles F.W.I.W. Tooner. Charles, age 88, currently resides in the Cloverdale Home for the Terminally Confused. A veteran of the Second World War, Charles gave up on coherent thought and speech some years ago and turned over his newsletter business to his nephew, Harvey. During a visit to his uncle, Harvey says that he noticed that uncle Charles was paying keen attention to a magazine article paying homage to the 20th anniversary of a popular science fiction epic movie. Charles repeatedly pointed his finger at one picture, muttering “That’s the one! That’s the one!”

After questioning his uncle, Harvey discovered that Charles was the only survivor of a special Allied mission sent to recover secret Nazi weaponry in the closing days of the war. Harvey believed his uncle had stumbled upon some dark secret that was haunting him to this very day.

After raising funds by selling off the newsletter business, Harvey managed to make his way to the Historical Archives in Berlin, Germany. For the last several years Harvey has used every resource possible to track down the information given to him by his uncle. There were many roadblocks in his way.

“First of all there was the unbelief expressed by the archives staff,” says Harvey. “They obstructed me at every turn until I uncovered a plot to sell off unpublished photos of Marlena Dietrich. Then I had to deal with a lawsuit placed against me by the producers of the sci fi movie where the Nazi weapon first appeared.”

Fuddlestone claims that the movie producers went so far as to illegally obtain the original photos of the secret weapon. But that did not stop him, he says. “I had finally found the photos, and knew what I had seen!” insists Harvey. Luckily I was able to obtain a second copy of the illustration.”

Pictured with this article, the photo shows the secret weapon in action against enemies of the Third Reich. Terrible in form and function, the existence of this weapon begs the question of how it was able to be depicted in a major motion picture without any one noticing except Fuddlestone and his uncle.

And what of the rumors that the photo was photoshopped? “Lies,” says Fuddlestone. “Lies spread by my competitors to discredit me.”

Harvey has reconstituted his newsletter business and published issue one of Nazi Conspiracies and Alien Plots with the focus on this great discovery. His subscriber list has grown substantially to a record 42.