Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Heinrich Hush. Present Teller

Heinrich is Ready to Read your Present

Heinrich Hush is a student at Cloverdale Middle School and the youngest brother of Hannah Hush of Hush Limited (see Wednesday, February 4, 2009's post). Heinrich spent two years as a secret collector for Hannah. During that time he gained a lot of valuable experience. Heinrich learned that the old saying is true - There's a sucker born every minute. When Heinrich started the 8th grade he decided to start his own business. Hannah gave him a loan at 19% interest to purchase the necessary equipment (telescopes, binoculars, sensitive listening devices, etc).

Heinrich is a gifted young actor. He has the stage presence to take an audience from tears to cheers in the course of a two hour play. He uses his talent in all the school’s plays. He supports Cloverdale’s local amateur theater but privately confesses his true love of acting isn’t carried out on center stage before a packed house. Heinrich prefers to do his serious acting in a restaurant dining room with an audience of one - his client. Heinrich's new venture is to tell people their present. He is the world's first Present Teller - a seer of the here and now.

For a fee Heinrich will meet anyone for a private reading. The meetings usually take place in a neutral setting. Heinrich prefers Wimpy Burger or McDonalds. He arranges a private table in a quiet corner. Heinrich is a gracious host and offers all his clients their choice of soda and a burger. Once you feel comfortable, he begins his reading. He describes your home - in detail. He describes your bedroom. He lists the contents of your closet and even the number of socks you have in your drawers. He tells you the kind of toothpaste you use and your brand of deodorant. His knowledge of the present astounds his clients. His gift is the talk of legend in the school. Every student wants a personal reading.

To receive an appointment one must first pay a down payment of half the reading fee. Once paid, your reading is schedule for two to three weeks in advance. On the day of the reading you meet Heinrich at the prearranged restaurant with questions in hand. Some questions are accepted and others are not. Heinrich says it depends on how perceptive his second sight is and whether or not your home has the right spirits for divination.

Heinrich’s business is brisk. Not only does he support himself financially by his readings but he employs other students at Cloverdale Middle School as well. Heinrich is very secretive about his staff but if you know what to look for they can be identified. They are the students that come to school exhausted. Some even have dark patches under their eyes that resemble soot or make up that couldn't be completely washed away. One former employee who wanted to remain anonymous, said that a Heinrich employee had to have good acting skills and a variety of disguises. They had to have their own form of transportation that didn't involve parents - like a bicycle.

Some students are jealous of Henirich’s success. They accusing him of cheating. They point to police reports describing an increase in the number of peeping tom sightings around homes where Heinrich’s clients live. They accuse Heinrich of breaking and entering to get information. Heinrich denies these accusations and if necessary will produce tears on demand to take you off the scent. Some believe his gift is true, some do not, but all agree his performances are legend. Heinrich Hush is truly an amazing person whose fortune is on the rise.

Friends, I give you Heinrich Hush, a Present Teller. He sees you the way you are and not the way you will be. The key to happiness is the present. And Heinrich makes living in the present the best it can be. For a fee


  1. I'm surprised Cloverdale's Homeland Security (CHS) team hasn't discovered this terrorist cell group yet...oh wait, I forgot Hannah & Heinrich have a steady stream of income coming from the CHS intellidunces.

  2. I get it- Heinrich is a new Sherlock Holmes...