Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Cloverdale's Back to School Fair at Snods Edge

Cloverdale held its yearly Village Fair last Saturday at Snods Edge Field and Playground. Ezra and Elvira Snod have hosted the Fair for the last thirty-one years on their north field which borders the Clover River. The Snods installed several pieces of playground equipment on the Field for their 24 grandchildren.

“We did it out of necessity,” Ezra said. “It was either have them ramshackle the house, driving Grandma nuts when they’d come to visit or build them a place outside where they could play. The playground was well worth the cost - believe me.”

The Snod grandchildren benefited from their own obnoxiousness and so did Cloverdale, because the Snod’s open the playground to everyone.

Lucy and Mack Truck ran the Comprehensive School's Raffle booth. For the price of a couple Bill Chills at the local Piggy Mart you could buy a raffle ticket and hope to win one of a dozen prizes donated by the merchants of Cloverdale. Lucy spent most of the day suffering one of her frequent migraines forcing her to keep her sun glasses on even after the afternoon clouded up and darkened. The resulting overcast sky and sunglasses made it difficult for Lucy to see. On her way to the Port a Potty, Lucy tripped over a tent stake. Her screaming brought the entire Fair to a standstill. She'd twisted her ankle.

Lucy's suffering was rewarded when her raffle ticket was drawn for the Fair's grand prize, a gift certificate good for ten hot fudge sundaes at the Woolworth's Lunch Counter.

vCloverdale's very on Elvis impersonator, Sam Penrod, was on hand to MC the Fair's Talent Show. Many in the Village agree that Sam looks like Elvis, in the broadest sense of the word 'looks like', but Sam's voice definitely is missing the qualities that made Elvis great. In fact, most considered it a blessing the PA system always shorted out when Sam started singing - yet came back on again when the next act took to the stage. The Fair Committee later thanked the Comprehensive School's Theater Tech Students for their cooperation in the matter.

Of course, what's a village fair with good eating. Here you see the entire butcher department from Cloverdale's Red Owl Grocery Store serving up their very own special Elephant Dogs. The Red Owl Elephant Dog came with your choice of several toppings and sides of baked beans, potato salad, chips and soda.

The Snod Merry -Go-Round was the favorite part of the Fair for the five and unders, at least until 324 pound Minnie Welch decided to ride with her daughter. The apparatus tipped the moment Minnie stepped onto the red platform - tilting the saucer violently downward and causing the children to toppled to the ground.

The children, upset by the damage and closure of the Merry - Go - Round, were heard to say rude things about Minnie's size. The comments darkened Minnie's mood, sending her into a despair, relieved only by spending the next thirty minutes at the Red Owl Elephant Dog Stand.

Doloras Spelch works for the Shire Education Department as Art's Curriculum Specialist. She was honored to judge the art competition. This year's theme was macaroni in art. All entries had to use macaroni as the primary medium for their masterpieces.

This year's winner was Clide Clumps and his Macaroni Christmas Ornament. After the judging and the awarding of the blue ribbon, Clide donated the ornament to the Nearly There Home for the Elderly and Senile. The Home gratefully accepted the gift. Last year the Home had to throw away all their non edible ornaments after a couple of their elderly residents plucked them from the Christmas Tree in the Common's Room and attempted to eat them. After their near death experience, the Shire Health Department ordered the home to use only eatable ornaments in the future.

And of course, what's a Village Fair without the Village Clown. Chuckles exemplifies the best in clowning and has done so for the last 60 years. Chuckles started clowning around in the third grade in an attempt to win the admiration of a few of the prettier girls in his class. Its a good thing Chuckles is good at what he does because finding normal work in the Shire without a Secondary School Diploma is difficult. Chuckles was expelled from school in the 9th grade for being a distraction to his fellow students and his refusal to stop wearing make up.

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