Thursday, December 10, 2009

Cloverdale's Mr. Grinch

Old Stew Fropper
is a sorry old man
A sorry old man indeed.

Some say he has no soul. And if he did, they parted company long ago. Stew was born in Cloverdale over 60 years ago. Nobody really knows. He won’t give his age and one doesn’t dare ask. He lives alone on Shore Lane in a small unremarkable house with few windows and green siding. He calls it his 'PissPot'. Which brings us to another of his renown qualities - a foul mouth, which he uses liberally in most social settings.

Somewhere along life’s journey Stew fell out of love with life. Perhaps he had an unhappy childhood. Or maybe his one true love abandoned him for someone with a pulse. We may never know the answer. He is a mystery to everyone.

Christmas time is Stew’s favorite time of year, which may surprise many of you. How could someone with a stunted heart (due to the acid he calls blood) enjoy a holiday like Christmas?

Well friends, after a lengthy investigation involving a few days and nights following him in his weird neighborhood walks (daytime canvassing and evening lifting), I believe I have the answer. Stew is an Ebay triple gold seller of Christmas lawn decorations. His clients span the globe, their lawns displaying the best Christmas displays money can buy. You may ask who supplies Stew with his online merchandise? His friends and neighbors of course. Needless to say their donations are never voluntary.

Friends, I give you Stew Fropper. Cloverdale’s very own Mr. Grinch!

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