Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Wilbur and Edna to Wed at Bingo

The children of 81 year old Wilbur Zebrinski of 4 Willowby Lane, Cloverdale are please to announce the marriage of their father to 82 year old Edna Snopps of 6 Willowby Lane, Cloverdale.

The happy couple will make their home in Cloverdale.

Wilbur first met Edna at St. Bartholomew’s Church during Wednesday night Bingo in 1993. He claims it was love at first sight, although at his age its difficult to tell. At the start of 1994 they made a point to sit by each other during Mass and Bingo. At the end of 1994 Wilbur made his intentions known by holding her hand during a special showing of Gone With the Wind at Cloverdale’s Grand Theater.

In the spring of 1995 Wilbur moved next door to Edna in hopes of advancing their friendship. It was slow going. Edna didn't seem that interested, having just exited a bad relationship with 76 year old Fruper Melon. Fruper and Edna dated from 1975 to 1993. Edna, unwilling to hurt Fruper’s feelings by breaking off the romance, waited for nature to take its course. Which it did on the afternoon of March 13, 1993 when Fruper suffered a massive heart attack while trimming his lawn. Edna was now free to entertain other suitors.

In 1996 Wilbur decided to propose to Edna after a delicious meal of Edna’s famous Pot Roast with dumplings and rice pudding. He wanted his proposal to be unique, clever and witty. Just how to do it was the problem. Wilbur gave it a great deal of thought.

In 1997 Wilbur had an idea. He bought a gold ring and took it with him to Bingo every Wednesday night. He planned to give Edna the ring, along with his proposal for marriage, the next time she got a Bingo. It was a perfect plan. Wilbur would be Edna’s prize.

Twelve years later, and after many many games of Bingo, Edna finally got a Bingo last Wednesday. Wilbur, good to his word, pulled out the ring and asked for her hand in marriage. Edna accepted the offer. The proposal was sealed with a kiss on the cheek.

The couple will wed at St. Bartholomew’s during Bingo on the last Wednesday of the month. The reception will be held at the Kicking Donkey Pub. All are invited to attend.

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