Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ronny Mumf and the Dance Festival

Ronny Mumf woke to a textbook perfect Spring Day. Golden sunshine filled his room. A light lilac breeze drifted through the bedroom window stopping to dance with a cobweb spanning two walls over Ronny’s head. Birds chirped in merry talk inquiring into each others health and the location of the juiciest worms. The occasional car passed his window. The sound of the tires against the road seemed out of place in this symphony of nature.

Ronny reluctantly looked at the clock. It was nearly time to get ready for school. He didn’t want to go to school. Today was the dreaded Dance Festival. The Dance Festival was held every year at Confederacy Elementary. The school's classes perform for each other and nearly 500 parents. That was bad enough, but Ronny's dance required hand holding. Ronny doesn't like holding hands. And if holding hands wasn't bad enough, Ronny had to hold hands with Eve Matthews. He didn't like Eve Matthews. He told the teacher but the teacher didn’t listen. “Grow up,” she said. She was stressed during dance practices and wasn’t very friendly. Ronny understood women's moods. His mom was like that when she was stressed. Ronny blamed the dance festival for everyone's bad mood. He concluded a dance festival was a bad thing for everyone.

Ronny turned away from his alarm clock, pulled the covers away and sat up. He thought long and hard about his problem. He didn’t want to dance. He didn’t want to hold a girl’s hand. He didn’t want to perform like a monkey in front of hundreds of parents. He was back to his original thought. He didn’t want to go to school.

Ronny was a clever boy. He knew if he put his mind to it he could figure a way to stay out of school. He could claim a stomach ache but didn’t think his mother would fall for that one again. He tried a headache last week. The lie resulted in a Children’s Tylenol and a kick out the door with his backpack. He could ‘pretend’ to fall down the stairs but knew the danger of going that far. A pretend fall could lead to a doctor’s visit and that could result in discovery. If the doctor uncovered the lie it could lead to some pretty terrible things. Ronny labeled that idea a non starter.

Then, a new idea entered his brain though his nose in the scent of lilac. Allergies! Ronny put his clothes on and quietly opened his bedroom door. he tiptoed down the stairs and listened for his mother. She was in the kitchen making breakfast. He unlatched the front door and stepped through into the sunshine. He ran to the backyard, found his accomplices, sat on the lawn and inhaled the scent of the yellow flowers. He took several large smells making sure the pollen reach the very back of his brain. He waited. Nothing yet. He took several more smells. A moment later he felt a sneeze taking shape in the top of his nose. One more sniff and it exploded. His eyes watered and his lungs tingled. He was ready to present himself to mother.

Ronny was wheezing by the time reached the front door. He was in a full scale asthma attack when he walked into the kitchen.

Ronny stayed home from school that day. He missed the dance festival. He was spared exposure to girls’ germs. Living through an allergy attack wasn’t fun but well worth the price.

1 comment:

  1. Ronny's runny rhinitis relieved him of reaching for feminine female flanges.