Friday, March 6, 2009

The Confederacy's Burger Cold War! Wendy's VS. Wimpy's

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Cloverdale's Wendys Hamburgers has declared war on Cloverdale's Wimpy Burgers. Wendy's wants to remind you that Wimpy's Burgers offers you no choice for freshness for your burger much the same way as the Russian Communists offered their citizens no choice for almost everything in the days of the Cold War.

During Russia's communist days choices were limited. The Government made all decisions on what the factories produced and what the shops sold. Public taste and choice was rarely considered. You did what the communist party said or you risked spending an extended holiday at a lovely concrete gray vacation villa in northern Siberia.

According to Wendys, Wimpy Burgers is the same. At Wimpy's your burgers are frozen solid slabs of meat thawed and cooked on the grill. Fresh is out of the question. You march up to the cash register. They will tell you what you want and you will like it. Choice and your personal taste isn't considered part of the buying experience. Frozen meat, cooked and presented on a bun with their toppings. And...... your burger was most likely cooked several minutes before your arrival and has been sitting in the warming bin.

This commercial is Wendy's firing the first shot at Wimpys. Wimpy's is not amused. Wimpy's reminds you that wait time for their 'cooked slightly ahead frozen burger' saves precious time and everyone knows you don't always have time for fresh. There is talk Wimpy's is preparing a new commercial but when and where it will be broadcast is uncertain. All we know is that Wimpy's is about to unveil a new hamburger called 'The Reagan'. It is reported to be cooked on order and you choose the trimmings. They will not respond to the question of frozen or fresh meat. There will be a warning about wait time while they cook the burger for you. There is talk of a special line for those wanting 'The Reagan Burger'. Instead of a cash register it will have an abacus to tally your bill.

The citizens of the Confederacy are anxious to see which burger chain will emerge victorious in this new Burger Cold War!

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