Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Correctall. Your School's Answer to Anti Social Behavior

Little Filmore will think twice before dropping
a bar of soap into the school's aquarium. Thank you Correctall.

Fernwood on the Moor's Primary School in the Confederacy of Dunces is reporting a marked decrease in school unpleasantness since the installation of the 'Correctall Slide' a new discipline tool brought to you by the good folks at Gerber Educational Services, the same company that produces the SEPTiC (State Educational Performance Test of the Instructional Core) the Confederacy's Comprehensive State Exams.

Let the Correctall Slide become a part of your school wide discipline program. We guarantee a nearly perfect child after one trip down the slide or your money back. No more teacher's dirty looks. No more hours of extra time after school proctoring your naughty student as he copies dictionary pages. Instructional time will increase as fewer and fewer of 'those' children are sent to the Head Master's Office. Just mention the word "Correctall" in class and watch your students sit erect in their chairs, feet still, and mouths closed with forced smiles. It is a teacher's dream.

Contact our sales team for a demonstration. We will bring a portable version of the slide directly to your school. All we ask is that you supply the children. You see.... you already have just the students in mind. See how easy that was?

Call us at Fernwood 3256.
Talk to one of our friendly sales representatives - all former problem children
whose anti social behaviors were corrected by the Correctall.

The Confederacy of Dunces National PTA proudly supports this product.
A portion of all sales will benefit our PTA programs.

1 comment:

  1. What a "grating" way to "Peel" off those mean layers of nastiness from students!!! Why wasn't this lovely torture device available when I was teaching? Most of my principal's dealt with mischevious students by giving them a lollipop and sending them back to class.