Cloverdale Weekend Television. The Ladies Visit the Museum of Modern Art

Mrs. French of 12 Shurberry Circle and Mrs. Saunders of 14 Blueberry Marsh live in Cloverdale. They take a train outing every month. This month they visited a museum of modern art.

Clive Noodle is in a Festive Mood for the Holidays.

Clive Noodle woke up at 5:00 A.M. this morning. He sat up, reached for his glasses and surveyed his bedroom. All was in place, just as he left it when he went to sleep. He reached for his notepad and pencil and reviewed the list he’d made the night before. At the top of his ‘to do’ list was the unpacking of his holiday sweaters. He smiled as a rush of Christmas cheer swept over him.
“Christmas sweater time,” he said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. His red holiday slippers sat right below his feet, positioned exactly where his feet landed every morning when he got out of bed. He slipped them on, stood, and walked into the large closet. Everything was organized alphabetically and by season. At the back of the small room were several boxes marked Christmas. Each box was subcategorized by color. The red box sat at the top.

Clive opened the box. A calendar sat on top of four red Christmas sweaters. The calendar was subdivided into weeks and days. Clive marked each day with a different color indicating which box to open for that day. He pulled out the top sweater, laid it out on the bed and proceeded with his other morning rituals as he prepared himself for his day as a public accountant for a nearly prominent Cloverdale business.

Friends, today we highlight Clive Noodle, another citizen of our village of the bewildered. Clive keeps the spirit of Christmas alive by wearing his collection of Christmas sweaters. Be sure to tell him how swell he looks in his festive apparel . It will mean so much to Clive, considering he isn’t married and doesn’t get out much.

The Daymonts Start the Holiday Season in a Very Traditional Way

Dave and Melissa Daymont of Thornberry Apartments in Cloverdale formally exchanged Christmas gifts today. This was done after church as per tradition. A kiss followed the exchange. Afterwards the couple stood, walked around the coffee table to the newly decorated Christmas Tree and placed the gifts beside the plastic manger scene Melissa was given on her tenth birthday. Another kiss followed.

“Are we ready to move on?” Dave asked. Melissa nodded. It was time for Melissa’s favorite part of the ritual. Dave reached over to his computer and double clicked on iTunes, bringing up his favorite Christmas songs. He scrolled down, passing the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Hits, passing the Lawrence Welk Christmas Wonderland Album, and stopped at his favorite - An Album of Christmas Carols for a Romantic Interlude. He clicked on ‘play’.

The sound of a full orchestra poured from the laptop's small, but impressive, speakers. Dave took Melissa by the hand. They both looked at their tree with its silver balls, artificial branches with green plastic pine needles, and popcorn strung the night before on long strands of string. All strung while they watched Melissa’s old VHS recordings of The Hallmark Channel’s Christmas Specials from the 80’s and 90’s. Melissa’s popcorn stings were more colorful than Dave’s. They had a cranberry between every 20 popcorn kernels. Dave pricked his finger with the needle on his first attempt at stringing a cranberry. It upset him, so he gave up on the berries and stuck with the popcorn.

Melissa cuddled up against Dave. They both filled their lungs and sang to the orchestra’s accompaniment of “Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....” The spirit of Christmas was so strong in their apartment they neglected to monitor their sound levels. Moments after they started the second verse, the upstairs neighbor stomped on the floor telling them to quiet down. They both looked at each other. Dave winked. Melissa giggled.

Dave departed with tradition by singing the third verse in Norwegian He went to Norway on an LDS mission and felt it an appropriate time to use the nearly forgotten language. He forgot some of the words but that didn’t stop him. He made up new ones as he went along - knowing Melissa wouldn’t know the difference.

“Oh Honey...,” Melissa said at the end of the carol. “Your Norwegian really gave me goosebumps. Are we ready for some Christmas Cheer?” Dave winked at the suggestion. Melissa giggled.

They walked arm in arm to the kitchen. Half of last Christmas’s fruit cake sat on the table. It came straight from the freezer and thawed while the couple attended Sacrament Meeting. Their Christmas mugs sat next to the fruit cake. Washed and cleaned from sitting 12 months in the cupboard above the dishwasher. Melissa opened the Meadow Lands Egg Nog and poured. Her glass was nearly filled first, then Dave's.

“Oh.... not to much for me. You know it makes me tipsy,” Dave said with a wink. Melissa giggled.
“Are we ready for the hard stuff?” Melissa said while walking to the fridge.
“Bring it on baby,” Dave shouted. More stomping from the upstairs neighbor followed. Dave shot a wink at Melissa. Yes, you got it right.......... she giggled.

Melissa returned with a 2 liter bottle of Sprite. She topped both mugs with the bubbly. She mixed the egg nog with the Sprite using a Christmas spoon with Santa Head. They took their mugs in hand and returned to the tree.

“A toast,” Dave suggested.
“Yes, our Christmas Toast,” Melissa replied. Dave cleared his throat. He thought for a moment. He wanted to say something profound but his mind suddenly went blank.
“Its loosing its fizz,” Melissa whispered, hoping to spur her husband on.
“Ahhhh. Emmmmmm. OK, here we go,” Dave said. He cleared his throat once again before continuing. “Scrooge once said, ‘I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.’ As head of this family I wanted to add my Amen to that.”

“Amen,” Melissa chimed in as she raised her mug to consume the longed for treat.
“Oh, not yet,” Dave stopped her just as the mug's rim reached her lips. “I have one more thing to add.” Dave cleared his throat once again, then spoke, “And God Bless us Every One.”
Melissa giggled and Dave winked. Arm in arm they raised their mugs overhead to salute the twinkling star atop their tree. Snow fell gently outside and the sound of passing carolers filled the apartment with the spirit of Christmas as they sipped their egg nog and enjoyed their time together.

The Daymonts of Thornberry Apartments in Cloverdale wish all of you a very merry Christmas.

Cloverdale Weekend Televison. A Month of Christmas Music. Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel

The Christmastime Lunch Special at the Kicking Donkey Pub

Dear Friends,
It’s Christmas time in the village. Lights are going up, carols are being sung, and Christmas trees are being cut down in the surrounding forest. Cloverdale is transforming into a Winter Wonderland. There is no other place like it anywhere, and I urge all to come visit what many consider to be a village straight from a Thomas Kincade painting. More importantly, I’d like to encourage everyone to shop in Cloverdale. The merchants of Cloverdale are friendly and deserving of your trade. You’ll not hear one “Happy Holidays” from anyone in our shops. It’s a “Happy Christmas!” to all. Political Correctness is kept at bay in the Confederacy.

Every business in Cloverdale is offering special bargains for the shopper. Why take the Coastal Express to Capital City to do your shopping at those big chain stores when our shops have everything you need and want?

For the next several weeks I’ll be highlighting some of the special offers in our shops. I’ll also send you news of special Christmas happenings, concerts and sing a longs. I’d like to start by drawing your attention to the Christmas Lunch Special at the Kicking Donkey Pub, a stone’s throw from the train station.

I stopped there for lunch today. The pub was busy, full of christmas shoppers enjoying a pint of Cloverdale Scrumpy. Apparently ole Doc Martin, a lunch time regular, was recommending the Scrumpy to everyone that entered the pub and passed his table. Many of them spoke highly of the Scrumpy's calming influence.

“A pint of Scrumpy is just what the doctor ordered to help me recover from Black Friday’s Christmas shopping,” I heard Mrs. Flora Maplewood tell the bartender as he poured her a second pint. “I barely came out of Salvation Thrifty with my scalp. There were hands everywhere, and I mean everywhere,” she said while throwing a wink to those gathered within earshot. I didn’t know who to feel sorriest for, Mrs. Flora, or the poor sod that found her rather large frame at the end of his long reach!

Enough said about the Scrumpy. I ordered a nice fizzy lemonade. No alcohol for me - considering my Mormonism won’t allow it. Once seated at the small table near the pay phone I called the waitress and ordered the Christmastime lunch special. Several minutes later it arrived steaming hot. I was please with the presentation. The assortment of food was generous - along with the servings. This was more of an evening meal than a lunch.

I hesitated to dig in fearing the taste would be disappointing after getting excited by the presentation. I took my first bite and was pleased. It was all delicious. In fact, I made such a fuss about the lunch with all my oooooing and ahhhhhing and lip smacking that several tables around me changed their lunch order for the Special.

So, not to labor the point and to bring this letter to a conclusion, I recommend the Kicking Donkey Pub’s Christmastime Lunch Special to everyone. Be sure to tell them your ordering it on my recommendation. If they hear my name enough I’ll get a free lunch, so help me out. Many thanks.

All the Best,
Victor