News from the Shire

Maurice Moss and his Wonderland Bakery

Moss Bakery in Cloverdale unveiled its new birthday cake for the video game addicted child - The Mario Brothers Mario Cart Cake. Be the first to surprise your darling with a birthday kiss and his very own Mario Cake. Won't you be the most popular and coolest mother on the block. Won't all your son's friends say they wish their own moms were like you. Imagine how you'll feel when every child in the neighborhood asks your child if they can move in. Think of how the other mothers will look at you with envy at the next PTA meeting. Why, you'll blush with pride and thank Maruice Moss and his Wonderland Bakery.

Don't Forget, a popular mom always has a Moss Bakery creation on the kitchen table. Stop by Moss Bakery today. Your children will thank you for it.

A Confederacy Wide Recall and a Product Banned.

The Confederacy of Dunces Ministry of Health and Asylums has banned the production and distribution of Candy Cigarettes produced by the Marlboro Tobacco Company. The candy cigarettes appeared nation wide last month on the store shelves next to bubble gum and Cracker Jacks. Each confection cigarette is a hollow sugar tube resembling a cigarette. The center of the tube is filled with powdered sugar. You place the object in your mouth and blow. The powdered sugar fills the air resembling smoke.
Parents are outraged. Schools have banned them. Protests are erupting nation wide. Poison control centers are reporting a rash of phone calls from very angry mothers who may have gone too far by washing their children's mouths out with soap.
Something had to be done. The government understood and decisive action was taken.

The Product is banned.