The Christmastime Lunch Special at the Kicking Donkey Pub

Dear Friends,
It’s Christmas time in the village. Lights are going up, carols are being sung, and Christmas trees are being cut down in the surrounding forest. Cloverdale is transforming into a Winter Wonderland. There is no other place like it anywhere, and I urge all to come visit what many consider to be a village straight from a Thomas Kincade painting. More importantly, I’d like to encourage everyone to shop in Cloverdale. The merchants of Cloverdale are friendly and deserving of your trade. You’ll not hear one “Happy Holidays” from anyone in our shops. It’s a “Happy Christmas!” to all. Political Correctness is kept at bay in the Confederacy.

Every business in Cloverdale is offering special bargains for the shopper. Why take the Coastal Express to Capital City to do your shopping at those big chain stores when our shops have everything you need and want?

For the next several weeks I’ll be highlighting some of the special offers in our shops. I’ll also send you news of special Christmas happenings, concerts and sing a longs. I’d like to start by drawing your attention to the Christmas Lunch Special at the Kicking Donkey Pub, a stone’s throw from the train station.

I stopped there for lunch today. The pub was busy, full of christmas shoppers enjoying a pint of Cloverdale Scrumpy. Apparently ole Doc Martin, a lunch time regular, was recommending the Scrumpy to everyone that entered the pub and passed his table. Many of them spoke highly of the Scrumpy's calming influence.

“A pint of Scrumpy is just what the doctor ordered to help me recover from Black Friday’s Christmas shopping,” I heard Mrs. Flora Maplewood tell the bartender as he poured her a second pint. “I barely came out of Salvation Thrifty with my scalp. There were hands everywhere, and I mean everywhere,” she said while throwing a wink to those gathered within earshot. I didn’t know who to feel sorriest for, Mrs. Flora, or the poor sod that found her rather large frame at the end of his long reach!

Enough said about the Scrumpy. I ordered a nice fizzy lemonade. No alcohol for me - considering my Mormonism won’t allow it. Once seated at the small table near the pay phone I called the waitress and ordered the Christmastime lunch special. Several minutes later it arrived steaming hot. I was please with the presentation. The assortment of food was generous - along with the servings. This was more of an evening meal than a lunch.

I hesitated to dig in fearing the taste would be disappointing after getting excited by the presentation. I took my first bite and was pleased. It was all delicious. In fact, I made such a fuss about the lunch with all my oooooing and ahhhhhing and lip smacking that several tables around me changed their lunch order for the Special.

So, not to labor the point and to bring this letter to a conclusion, I recommend the Kicking Donkey Pub’s Christmastime Lunch Special to everyone. Be sure to tell them your ordering it on my recommendation. If they hear my name enough I’ll get a free lunch, so help me out. Many thanks.

All the Best,
Victor