The Twumble's, Cloverdale's Christmas Family for 2010.

Skye and Orma Twumble live at 1225 In the Marshes, Cloverdale. They were selected to be Donaldson’s Department Store’s Christmas Family for 2010.

Skye is the regional director for Confederacy Telephone and Telegraph. Orma is her kid’s mom and the PTA President for St. Bartholomew’s School.

The nominating committee announced the Twumble’s selection on Cloverdale Weekend Television during a commercial break for the holiday classic “The Wizard of Oz”.

“This is the Twumble family from The Marshes in Cloverdale. They represent everything this village holds dear,” the announcer spoke with his lips actually touching the microphone. You could tell he was nervous and not use to speaking on television with the potential of a few dozen watching. The announcer cleared his throat to continue, then paused when he noticed a disgusting dribble of mucus on the microphone. He took his handkerchief and wiped it clean before continuing. “Mr. Skye Twumble is a respected citizen, known for his trustworthiness. After all, being the district manager for the telephone company gives Mr. Twumble access to everyone’s phone line and therefore everyone’s dirty little secrets. Does he use this information to his advantage? No he doesn’t.”

There was another pause before the announcer continued. “Orma Twumble is the perfect wife and mother. She claims to have a doctorate degree in baking and cleaning and loves to experiment with things baked in a pie crust. Her favorite word is ‘Surprise!‘ - always said when serving a pie to friends and family at her well known Candle lit Suppers.”

The Twumble’s will be honored next week at the following events throughout the village. Be sure to attend one of them and congratulate the Twumble’s for this honored bestowed upon them by your friends at Donaldson’s Department Store.

Sunday. The Twumbles will be the featured guests at the post Mass coffee held at St. Bartholomew’s. Orma has consented to say a few words about the proper role for a Catholic woman in today’s modern society.

Monday. The Twumbles will be singing carols throughout the Department Store between 7:00 and 8:00 P.M. Before that, they will be manning the Salvation Army’s Kettle at the Store’s Entrance.

Tuesday. The Twumbles will be the featured guests on Cloverdale Weekend Television’s “Confederate Mornings” morning news show. Orma, with a bit of arm twisting, accepted an invitation to teach the viewing audience the finer points of creative cooking with pastry. Skye will take the second half hour and cover the history of the telephone and telegraph in Clovershire.

Wednesday. The Twumbles will be the honored guests at the Christmas Sing a long at the Comprehensive School.

Thursday. The Twumbles will take a day trip on the Coastal Express to Tamworth on Tide to do a bit of Christmas Shopping. All compliments of Confederacy Railroad.

Friday. The Twumbles will be the honored guests at the lighting of Cloverdale’s Village Square Christmas Tree. Afterwords, the family will distribute candy canes to those in attendance.

Saturday. The Twumbles will unveil a new roadside sign with their picture welcoming outside shoppers to Cloverdale. The sign is on Highway one right outside of town. Later that night the Twumbles will end their week as Donaldson’s Department Store’s Christmas Family of 2010 by reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas” on Radio Four.

Once again, congratulations to the Twumbles, Cloverdale’s Christmas Family for 2010.

The Grimms Wish You a Respectful Holiday Season. Remember their Motto: Waiting, Always Waiting for your Call.

A Respectful Holiday Greeting from the Grimms Family
Waiting, Always Waiting for your Call

The Grimms live on Mulberry Circle in Cloverdale. This is their Christmas Card photo for 2010. Try as they might, they couldn’t get little Albert to be as serious about the family picture as the rest of the family. After all, this was the photo to be sent to all their past and future clients. It required a look befitting their business.

“We don’t know where Albert came from,” said Horace Grimms, owner and director of Grimms’ Mortuary and Taxidermy, servicing the dearly departed in Clovershire for the last 54 years. “There is something different about that boy.”

Febee Grimms interjected her opinion about her youngest child. “I don’t think Albert will ever be able to help with the family business.” She paused for a moment and looked at her son and then into her husband’s sad eyes. “We were so hoping for a boy to pass the business on to when we retired. We have our son, but he’s not exactly cut out for the funeral business.”

Febee was correct. Albert’s sisters were well groomed for the funeral business, having learned at an early age to subdue feelings of joy and happiness. You see, the Grimms Funeral Parlor consists of the embalming plant, the chapel, the crematorium, the garage for their two hearses, and the family living quarters.

During viewings and funerals, the girls help with the flowers and the condolences book. They help at the doors and in the kitchen. When not helping their father and mother with a service, they are allowed to play but must keep their voices low and faces somber in case they are seen by the bereaved.

Albert, on the other hand, sees joy in everything around him. Once, during the funeral for the Widow Morris, Albert burst through the chapel doors to tell his mother that he’d caught a butterfly. Febee was mortified. She snatched him up with one arm and carried him from the chapel. She covered his face with her other arm to quiet his voice and conceal his smile. Many sitting in the pews were visibly shaken, knowing the Widow Morris despised children, having taught school for the better part of 40 years.

The Grimms are resigned to their fate, knowing the trails of raising a ‘special‘ child. They will continue to work with Albert, but realize he will never have the temperament to work with the dead.

Albert will be left to find his own way.

The Mulligans Christmas Card Photo

Dorric Mulligan is the manager of the Kicking Donkey Pub in Cloverdale. Dorric, along with his wife Delma and their children, live in the small flat above the pub. The Mulligan's are a large Catholic family and find the flat 'cozy' to say the least.

Dorric's parents arrived by train on Sunday to spend December and half of January with the family. They are old age pensioners living on a tight budget and haven't the money to stay at one of Cloverdale's fine motels or B and B's, meaning the Mulligan's will have two house guests for the holidays. Delma is not happy about the situation and informed Dorric that he will be spending the next several weeks sleeping on one of the pub's downstair sofas. The aging grandparents are oblivious to the tension caused by their unannounced visit. They suffer from mild dementia and enjoy their daily pint or two of Guinness, which keeps them in a partially woozy and cheerful state.

The family gathered for their annual Christmas photo on Sunday evening. Dorric placed the camera on a tripod, arranged the family, set the camera's timer and rushed back to insert himself into the picture. The camera beeped three times before snapping the picture. The beeping entertained little Tina and drew an immediate reaction. Her reaction confused Grandpa, causing him to loose focus and forget where to look. Grandma never found the lens. She was still trying to remember her youngest grandchild's name.

You'll notice that Dorric cropped Delma out of the picture. It was his own twisted sense of humor. He made the photo card in Photoshop, printed a copy and left it on the kitchen table 'by accident' so Delma could find it. He thought it would lighten her spirits, resulting in an invitation to return to his own bed.

Unfortunately, Delma was in no mood for one of Dorric's practical jokes. Delma exploded. The resulting fallout made the flat unsafe for Dorric and his parents. They are now staying at Miss Libby's Bed and Breakfast for the next few days while Delma finds her emotional footing.

We are all hoping the Mulligans reconcile quickly. The pub has several private bookings for the holiday season, which means its all hands on deck for the pub's staff.

Lillian Wish’s Book Emporium

Lillian Wish's Book Emporium High Street Entrance.
Today's Highlighted Cloverdale Business for Christmas Shopping

Cloverdale’s Chamber of Commerce encourages our villagers to stay in the village to shop this Christmas season.

“We know how tempting it is to jump on the Coastal Express for a day’s shopping at Capital City or Tamworth on Tide, so we’ve encouraged our village businesses to offer unique items at special prices you might not find at the big shopping centers,” said Councilman Telper during the Black Friday Shopping Extravaganza and Christmas Parade held down the High Street.

Anderson Potter (Santa Claus) for the 21st year in a row. The costume will be retired this year. The Donaldson Family is promising a new 21st century suit for next year's parade complete with electrical lining to ward off the cold of a Cloverdale night.

Many of the hundred or so gathered who braved the cold and snow for the event nodded their heads in agreement (although it should be noted that most of them were the owners and employees of the businesses in downtown Cloverdale who stepped out of their shops just long enough to see Anderson Potter play Santa on top of the Donaldson’s Department Store float for the twenty-first year in a row).

Albert Spitter of 23 Glenwood Close, plays the trumpet for the Salvation Army when
he isn't playing video games or tormenting his sisters.

Cloverdale’s very own Salvation Army Brass Band accompanied the parade playing holiday favorites while Brigadier General Chuck Artz walked up and down the street waving the famous Red Bucket and solicited donations for the poor and needy. Most freely gave. Those less inclined to be parted from their coins received Chuck’s extra attention. The General stood in front of them with a smile stretching ear to ear. General Chuck is the village’s Stare Down Champion. A skill that has served him well in soliciting donations from the Scrooges of the Shire.

The Chamber of Commerce decided to use the village blog “Our Cloverdale” to highlight certain businesses during the holiday season. Our first business is Lillian Wish’s Book Emporium, one of the High Street's anchor establishments. Lillian opened the Emporium thirty years ago with her now deceased husband Filroy.

Lillian Doesn't Sleep Well so the Emporium is Open the Strangest of Hours. Here she is at 2:10 A.M. brewing a
pot of coffee for anyone else that might be out and about.

For the past three decades Cloverdale’s citizens have been treated to a wide variety of books covering “Every Topic Under the Sun, and Then Some More.” Yes, that phrase is also the store’s motto, written by Lillian herself. The store has two openings. The High Street opening is for those looking for the finest in new books and audio tapes. The back entrance (found if you walk down the ally just to the north of the shop) is for those seeking the best prices and selection of used books.

The Back Entrance of the Book Emporium.
Careful to Wipe Your Feet and be mindful of the cat box.

Upon entering the Emporium one feels pitched it into some magical world like the wand shop in Diagon Alley . Lillian is in her Sixties (although it is hard to tell to be honest). Her night shift opening hours are a perfect opportunity for people who work late or students (Cloverdale Community College is close by) to check out the latest book releases or some old school literature.

She calls her store a “Gemischtwarenladen” which translates to grocery store in a really traditional way. She offers the best prices on a great variety of bestsellers and new releases (some are in foreign languages, and if I knew how to read them I’d tell you what they were). And the best part about it is- she knows most of the books she sells.

Get your own customized book recommendation. If you are not into books check it out nevertheless – it will be your special Cloverdale experience. Something to tell your grandchildren. Take some time to get to know one of the village’s genuine “institutions”.
Since the owner is always there until past midnight it is almost like a 24 hours daily store. But please call to make sure it is open.

Tony and the Boy with the Red Sweater

Tony “The Sheriff” Verchelli is out of the house and patrolling Glenn Close, Cloverdale’s safest street . He woke from his afternoon nap early sensing something was ‘afoot’ in his neighborhood. He usually naps at 1:00 P.M. after he finishes his morning rounds and lunch. If there isn’t an emergency, he will sleep until 3:15 P.M., waking just in time to be out on the street to guard the children walking home from Confederacy Primary School.

His weapon of choice is the True Patriot Double Barrel bb Shotgun given to him last Christmas by a doting Grandfather. Tony’s mother was visibly shaken by the gift, but try as she did, she couldn’t get it away from her son without facing the wrath of the gods in the form of his temper. They compromised in the end . Tony could keep the bb gun IF he allowed her to load it.

Every day Mrs. Verchelli pretends to load the gun just before Tony leaves the house to do his morning rounds of the neighborhood. She’s sure that if he doesn’t shoot his own eye out, he will someone else’s. Tony is on to his mother’s deception, but pretends to be oblivious to the scheme. He has his own private stash of ammo.

One cold afternoon in January, Tony took his Big Wheel on an unapproved shopping trip to the village center to purchase a box of bb’s from Donaldson’s Department Store. He used the money given him by the Widow Doxey after he rescued her from a wet slobbering from Tulip, the Melman’s overly friendly Great Dane, who had escaped earlier in the afternoon when a negligent meter man failed to lock the Melman’s back gate.

“Are you sure you’re old enough to buy these?” the cashier asked as she bent over the counter to see the 4 year old
.
“My mom says I’m a big boy and can buy my own things to learn ‘sponsibilty,” Tony said, struggling with the word responsibility. He’d heard him mother use that word many times in reference to the gun, and gambled it would work in that situation. His gamble paid off. He cycled home listening to the jingling of hundreds of bb’s in his coat pocket.

Tony jumped from his bed, reached for his jacket and gun, found his mother napping on the couch, woke her and asked her to tie his jacket (cape) around his neck. Just as Tony shut the garage door he heard his mother yell at him to stay in the front yard. Both she and Tony knew that wasn’t going to happen. He had a job to do and had a feeling something was ‘afoot‘ on Glenn Close.

Tony jumped on his Big Wheel and rode to the front curb. He glanced up and down the street. There was nothing suspicious. He looked up toward the eastern sky. A storm was building. Dark clouds blotted out the sun. The wind picked up a moment later. A layer of dust from the road spiraled upward and moved down the road like a small tornado. Tony reached into his pocket, took out his swimming goggles and placed them firmly over his eyes to protect them from the blowing dirt.

Just then he noticed something red moving toward him from the far end of the Close. He couldn’t make out what it was at first, but a few seconds later the outline of a young blond boy wearing a red sweater came into view. The boy walked straight for Tony, slowly and with purpose. Tony had never seen the boy before. A chill when up his spine. He reached for his bb gun and bb’s.

Tony knew there was something unnatural about this boy wearing a red sweater, but didn’t have the luxury of time to play detective. He had a street to protect.

And protect it he would.

Blog Reference: http://ourcloverdale.blogspot.com/2010/01/boy-with-red-sweater.html